Why is Willingness so important to develop Willpower?

In this power hungry, economically driven world, we hear the word ‘Willpower’ a lot. It is a very significant word, as well as a significant quality to have. However, this quality does not arise from just willing for Willpower. It is not by sheer effort or by a desire to have willpower that you attain to it. Rather it derives its strength from its cousin (in terms of naming): Willingness. With willingness, can one be gifted this quality of Willpower.

Willingness is an essential quality to do a lot of things in this world successfully. It is relevant in every single aspect of life. Take relationships for instance. If you are a willing participant to the relationship (which most people are initially), it is a wonderful life, isn’t it? You will endure any kind of hardship, any kind of flaw in your partner, any kind calamity; just because you are willing to be with your partner. Whatever your partner does, however silly it may be, you are willing to be with them. No reason can break you apart or cause any kind of distance. And in willingness, you are a 100% involved in that relationship. You give your all to it and even more. To that relationship, you bring more than what you take. Whatever may come, you have willpower now, to take your relationship through it. This willingness is your heaven. This is paradise. Even if it is a mud hut and rains and unemployment and hunger, still it is your own little heaven; because you are willing.

In Unwillingness, even if it creeps in a little bit, then even the tiniest of things can cause a great turmoil within you. If you consciously or unconsciously turn into an unwilling participant to your relationship (which most people become later), then it is your own personal hell. Your partner will do something, which you found cute earlier, and now it is the most frustrating thing in the world to you. You are not sure who changed your partner, you will find fault with every small thing and mountains are made out of mole-hills etc. Even if everything is comfortable, big bungalow, rainwater harvesting, high paying jobs and full stomachs; still everything will seem like hell, because now you do not want this in your life; you have become unwilling. You do not have, or rather do not want to exercise any willpower to go through this hell. Not even willing to lift a finger, not wanting to make any effort.

And so it is with every other aspect of life. Take your career for example; if you are not willing to do the job, or not doing something that you want to do, have you ever done a good job? You probably half-assed it. But where you were involved and totally willing to do something, even if it was changing the diaper of your kid, if you are willing, you will do a wonderful job at it and your kid would have rated you as ‘Exceeds Expectations’, if they knew the cut-throat world of performance reviews. If you are willing, then non-working Wi-Fi, no coffee machine, no leaves, no free stationery would not really bother you. You would still go on working, giving you best. If you are unwilling, then even a fancy office, perks etc. will be of little recompense to your troubled mind. Then what willpower can you muster to achieve anything at all in this world?

We talk or dream of changing the world, doing big things; but a few things get uncomfortable and we throw our willingness down under the bus. Then what to speak of willpower? It will not happen. So then, should we endure situations even if the situations are bad?

See, the situations are never bad, it is just that you do not like the situation. That’s all. Situations are just situations; you created them, and now you don’t want to deal with them. Life sure does not work that way. All kinds of situations will come into our life. According to our willingness and likes and dislikes, some situations will be pleasant and some unpleasant in our experience. We certainly have to deal with unpleasant situations; we identify them, and then we identify what is lacking within us that makes it unpleasant and then we work with them. If we make ourselves into willing human beings, willing towards the life process itself, then whatever situation that you might face, you will do your best. If you try to avoid, it will anyway catch up with you and all the while, you will live in some personal hell. If you face it, at least you have the thrill of playing the game! And you will definitely develop that thing called ‘Willpower’.

It is the sum of our lives, both having and not having. Let us be willing, to all that is there and all that isn’t in our lives.